Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?
by darkmystress00
Summary: Beth's made it to Alexandria, but the walls, the constant surveillance...it's all so suffocating.


Beth grit her teeth as she watched Rick and Morgan standing on the porch of their house in Alexandria. It was the first time since she'd arrived at the ASZ (nearly three damn weeks ago) that she'd been without some personal escort making sure she didn't do anything stupid (like get shot in the head again.) It was getting on her damn nerves.

Beth was a strong girl, hadn't always been, but she'd gotten stronger after the fall of the prison, and watching her daddy die. She'd gotten even stronger when she'd been kidnapped by those cops and held at Grady. She'd only just found out it was actually kidnapping when she'd gotten to the ASZ (everyone at Grady had said she'd been 'saved' from a group of walkers, but that was beside the point.) She'd become her strongest yet when she'd woken up in a trunk, surrounded by walkers, and had had to fight her way (yet again) to freedom. She was a stone-cold warrior and damn well didn't need a babysitter to make sure she was coping with "life on the inside." She resisted the urge to snort at the idea that Alexandria felt more like a prison than the actual prison had. At least there she was surrounded by family and friends she trusted. At least there she wasn't someone that everyone looked at like she was some sort of a monster…or a miracle.

She knew full well they'd all thought she'd been dead. Hell, with a gunshot to head she was even surprised to find herself breathing most days. Yeah, everyone had thought she was dead and that was why they all watched her out of the corner of their eyes. They thought she was like smoke, at any moment she would vanish into thin air. Maggie'd told her (once she'd stopped insisting she was dreaming…and then again after she'd gotten over the guilt of leaving her injured baby sister in the trunk of a car) that she was scared. Scared she'd turn around and all that would be left was the hint of her strawberry shampoo (which Beth was surprised to find they had in Alexandria) and a memory. Beth had assured her that wasn't the case, but it didn't stop the round the clock tail she had. The only time she could get away was at night, or if they thought she was sleeping. Cue the excuse she'd been using more and more often.

At first, everyone had worried that she wasn't doing as well as she said she was. It was a quiet affirmation from Daryl that had everyone shutting their mouths and believing her. He'd stared at her like he was trying to figure out a puzzle the entire time she was explaining to the group that she wasn't sick, or dying…she just wanted a damn nap. When her eyes connected with his, a plea hidden deep in her blue orbs, he'd cracked the smallest of a smile and went on to support her. "It's just a damn nap Maggie…she ain't dyin'." Maggie had turned her gaze to him, narrowing her eyes as if trying to decide to believe her. "She's survived long enough to get out of that trunk, and all the way here…don't think her takin' a nap will be the worst thing." Maggie pressed her lips together in a thin line but nodded one jerky nod (a sure sign she was angry that she was being overruled.) After that, 'naps' were easier to come by and she found herself finding ways to sneak around.

She held her breath as she watched Morgan leave the front porch and Rick turned to make his way inside. Slowly she counted to three and dashed out down the street. She made her way to the wall and started to climb, inserting poles into slots at the joints (she'd seen Enid do this one time.) She threw a leg over and made her way down to the forest floor below. She was just breathing a sigh of relief as her feet landed and crunched on a bit of brush when she stiffened. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

She peeked over her shoulder and sagged in relief as she stared up at Daryl's half amused, half annoyed face. "I-I was just…" She took a breath.

"If your sister knew this was how you were using 'nap time' she'd start sleeping in the damn room with you." Beth bit her lip, fingering the handle of her knife that was tucked in the waistband of her jeans. "Whatchu thinkin' girl?" Beth shrugged.

"I can't breathe in there Daryl!" She almost whined. "Everyone is so close to each other, and there's other people…people I don't know. People I don't trust." She looked around. "When I'm out here…at least I feel like I can breathe. I don't feel like everyone is pressin' down on me from all over." Her eyes landed back on him. "Are you gonna make me go back?"

"Y'know they do it 'cause they're scared of losin' you again…right?"

"Yeah, but Daryl…I'm not going anywhere. I can't act normal if no one will treat me normal." She crossed her arms in front of her, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. "Everyone still thinks I need to be taken care of, and it's just too much. After…everything…it's just too much." He studied her, looking at her face, giving her the once over, before he shrugged a shoulder.

"C'mon Greene. We never did finish teachin' you how t'use my crossbow." Her face split into big grin before she launched herself at him and gave him a big hug. She felt one of his hands settle awkwardly on her back before she gently pulled away. Without words he held up his bow for her to take. "Just so you know…" He started quietly, slowly. "I know you're strong and you can take care of yourself." Her eyes widened at him. "Strongest damn person I know."

"Really?" Her voice held a note of awe that made him shift and fidget under her gaze. He answered with a short 'mm' before motioning behind him.

"C'mon Greene. Y'ain't gonna learn to track standin' here by the wall." And with that he turned, leading her deeper into the woods. She shifted the weight of the crossbow in her hands before smiling a small secret smile. Maybe she could schedule a few more nap times, and if Daryl Dixon helped her to learn how to track and hunt, well then that was fine by her.


End file.
